Many small businesses on main street are the good ole family run mom and pop shops, but many marriages are ruined on the field of business.

It’s hard to work for family and it’s hard to work with family.

You love your family, you wish you could spend more time with them, and maybe you have even paid family members to do odd jobs in your business when you were short on time but long on tasks.

When you work with family, there is no escaping. So if your family relationships are challenging on the best of days, proceed with caution.

I have worked with and for family to various degrees over the last 16 years. One of my early jobs was with my Dad, working the counter at one of his pawnshops, I learned some incredible things working in the pawnshop from how to sweep and mop a floor, merchandise, value products, negotiate, buy low and sell high.

I also learned the as my fathers daughter, he will always expect more from me than anyone else- because I should know better- even when I didn’t know.

I learned, while working for my dad I could not be his daughter and his employee. I was his employee then his daughter, but working in the shops also allowed me to spend time with my dad that I never had before.

i remember when I wanted to change careers, and exit my Dad’s wing of protection- I was terrified to have the conversation- because I didn’t want to disappoint him or let him down. I needed to forge my own path out of his shadow.

Then when I started my gym I had my little brother come on as a trainer for me. It was good until it wasn’t. I was a terrible leader at that time, and terrible communicator, and left to many holes and unanswered questions. At that time, I would tell people who worked for me, even my brother, to do what they wanted as opposed to what I wanted and needed them to do.

So many lessons were learned.

I ended up having to release my brother to industry when I realized we did not have a shared vision for my company. It sucked- we didn’t talk for 2 years after that.

If I ended the story there- you would think I strongly advise against working with family, but I don’t.

About 5 years the experience with my brother, I had worked hard on becoming a better leader, manager, communicator and decided I would give this working with family thing another shot.

I asked my husband to come into the business full time, and work with me… and he said yes. Turns out I had learned from my previous experiences, and working with my husband turned into one of the greatest blessings and treasures of my life.

We grew closer as partners, in work and home.

I think working with family can work, but a few things need to be established early on.

• Communication cycles

• Job Description

• Expectations

• How you plan to nurture your relationship at home, not just in the office

• Boundaries

• Clear plan to address conflicts and issues as they arise

The biggest and I mean the BIGGEST thing you must do if you intend to make working with family a positive experience for everyone involved- you, your family member, and other employees- is to create crystal clear boundaries and expectations early on.

When I was working with my Dad and brother- the expectations, boundaries and communication was laughable at best. We were a hot mess of disfunction, disorder, and mind games. Though none of it was intentionally malicious- the fact that nobody thought to communicate better ultimate caused major riffs and breakdowns.

When my husband came to work with me, we had 2 cautionary tales behind us, and an agreement that divorce isn’t an option- and killing each other was also off the table. We had to be proactive in meeting the problems that would be meet us along the way, by addressing them before we got to them.

The first week of my husband coming into the business was spent locked in the office laying the ground work.

For any other hire- the foundation and structures would have been established prior to even posting a help wanted ad.

In this case though we needed to be 100 % on the same page.

So on some giant sticky notes we broke down every aspect of our lives together from the bedroom to the boardroom.

• Clearly defined both of our roles- what were the tasks only I could do, what were the tasks that only he would do, and what were tasks that we shared

• Scheduled week business meetings to discuss what working, what wasn’t and get help.

• Planned for date night and intimate time

• Placed boundaries on when we would talk about work when we got home

• Clearly defined how we would handle conflict between

• Review and edited our org chart to reflect our new roles in the company

• We also clearly spelled out what winning at work would be and what winning at home would be

• Set our schedules and work times

• I took the time to communicated the companies vision, core values, and client centric mission- just like I would with any new hire.

Without taking the time to instill these expectations and systems- working together would have never worked.

Can you work with family?

I believe you can.

It’s crucial though, if you are going to choose to work with family that all parties involved are on the same page. Being family- doesn’t mean you are on the same page. It just means you share the same DNA.

We have to be just as intentional, if not more intentional when we bring a family member on to work with us. Because an rift between family members can make the workplace a battlefield for other team members and employees.

Want to work with your family- but don’t know where to start- let’s hop on a call, and discuss how you can bring your family into the fold of your business without blowing up your family or blowing up your business (in a bad way.) Click here to book your call.

You can also connect with me and my community over on facebook in my Momma Boss Collective Facebook Group