Stop Making Shitty Decisions

Everyone has sabotaging habits, and behaviors, some of us have far more damaging ways to sabotage our lives and our happiness in a big way. The good news is that you don’t have to continue sabotage your own happiness and success blindly.

The bad news it takes a lot of work and awareness to change your behaviors and your thought processes. It take courage to address the bits of ourselves that we know are out our highest calling or representation of ourselves.

I get it, I am formerly known as “Hurricane Sara,” my brother gave me this name, after watching me for years build relationships only to destroy them. The circle of drama surrounding me was intense. I was always cheating chaos around me, and it was exhausting for me and those around me.

We all have ways of sabotaging ourselves, and our our happiness, but we also can make an active choice to do something different, but it takes work an awareness.

The ways we sabotage ourselves can show up in how we treat our bodies, how we show up in relationships, the time we take to nurture our minds, bodies. Sabotage can show up in our finances, how we manage out time and the stories we tell ourselves.

The first step to changing your shitty decisions is recognizing the shitty decisions your are already habitually making in your

Relationships…

Finances…

Health…

Work…

Leadership….

Parenting…

Thoughts and pattern interrupt…

Assumptions you have…

Communication…

So many people are addicted to the drama and the stories that come with the shitty decisions they make. When you have a victim story, people listen, they feel bad for you, and the give you attention. Which is nice, but it’s not helping you live your best life.

Have you ever looked in the mirror and thought-

How did I get here?

Is this really my life?

I can’t keep going this way…

I need to change, but don’t know how.

I totally get it, several years ago I found myself having theses same challenging thoughts. I was unhappy and I knew that the only to change my unhappiness was to take control of my thoughts, my actions and my reactions.

It wasn’t going to be easy.

I wasn’t easy.

How do you take control of your poor decision making, when making shitting decisions is as natural as breathing?

1. Observe your patterns

   If you are too close to your patterns and poor decision making, ask a friend or even better ask someone you’ve hurt to help diagnose your patterns. Brace yourself, it’s going to eye opening, shocking, and painful.

2. Observe your thoughts as you see your patterns coming to life

   Awareness is the first step in changing anything. So take a step back from your thoughts, look at them and recognize that just because you have a thought doesn’t mean you have to act on it.

3. STOP

   Stop, pause, think. Seriously- if you constantly respond or react at the height of emotion- when you feel yourself getting emotional- stop. Do nothing. Go read a book, take a shower, go for a walk, think. Do nothing, until you are clear headed and no longer emotional.

4. Get curious

   Ask yourself what else you can do or say other than what your knee jerk reaction naturally is. In your mind observe your options, before you decide what you are going to do.

5. Take care of yourself

   Seriously, sounds nuts I know. Take care of yourself first. Make sure you are good. Make sure your heart is good. Make sure your spirit is good. Then and only make a better decision

As you unfurl the process of getting better with your decisions, realize it won’t be easy. There will be bumps in the road.

Heck there will even be times when it is physically painful to not react or explode with pain, anger, frustration and sabotage. Expect the pain. Expect the frustration.

Know that when you learn to handle yourself, your decisions and your emotions in the beginning it will be hard, but the end result is an inner strength that no one can take from you.

……………………………..

Need help mastering your sabotaging demons, book a strategy call and finally get some traction your life and towards your goals.

Check out The Momma Boss with Sara Goossen Podcast on Apple Podcast

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How do you define and measure success?

How each person defines success is different from person to person. Success for some is never achieved, because success is reserved for those people… you know the ones, you see them- but clearly those people have something you do not.

Success comes in many different forms and can be evaluated from many different perspectives.

The top 3 Ways we have been socially conditioned to measure success are:

1. Money

2. Influence

3. Freedom

For many people who achieve the money, influence and freedom- still find themselves unfulfilled and still chasing. People who have achieved “success,” without truly evaluating what success means to them find themselves, depressed, lost, in crisis and searching.

So it’s important to evaluate what success means to you. There is a variety of ways we can and should measure success as it applies to us and our values. Here are a aspects of your life to evaluate and note what is important to you and what success truly means to you.

4. Physical health- this can range from your physical fitness, health, and activity level. You ability to keep up with your kids, seduce your spouse and feel attractive or ability to survive the zombie apocolypse.

5. Mental & Emotional Health- how are you doing managing stress, depression, facing down your demons and managing your own crazy (and we all got crazy.)

6. Healthy Intimate relationships- this could mean having a happy and healthy intimate relationship with your spouse, partner, or your person.

7. Healthy Core Friendships- you get do define and pick who your people are, how much you talk to them and even when you see them. We all have that handful of people you haven’t seen for years and when you reconnect it is like no time as past,

8. Healthy Social Life- whether you like to connect in the community through church, fundraisers, meetups, work or coffee shops, you decide how you get out in the world, how often, when and what a successful social life looks like to you. People need people. We need connection and connections to blossom and flourish in life.

9. Spirituality- I define this as my connection to source and the universe. Some call it God, Spirit, Buddha, Allah. However you define connection. I believe it’s important to have a spiritual practice whether it’s prayer, meditation, going to church, spending time in nature. Whatever it looks like to you-define it.

10. Contribution- How do like to contribute to the world around you? Volunteering, donating you time or money, encouraging others, working with the youth. This one I find is more important than many people like to admit. There really is no better feeling than knowing you made an impact for other people.

11. Fun, Hobbies & Leisure- HAVE FUN! Life is not just work, go home, eat, sleep, repeat. Get a hobby, learn something new. Experience new places, new cultures and make some freaking memories.

12. Work- Do work you love. Life is too short to spend time doing things you hate. You don’t have to follow your passion, but bring your passion and joy with you. If you find work you enjoy- you will never work another day in your life. Sure not all days will be great, but when you enjoy the work you do, the hard days are easier to get thru and make the struggles worth it.

As you evaluate what success means to you, question all these areas of your life. Some areas you will look at and go, “ I’m good- solid- this is how I want my life to look.” Other areas you will look at go,”Dang! I have a lot of work to do in this area to feel happy or successful.”

Once you know where you stand in all the aspects of your life, paint a picture of what success means for you each area and make a plan to fix it significantly over the next 90 days.

Make a plan to take 1 action a day that will move you closer towards your vision of success. Schedule that action into your calendar and do it.

An example of this- you want to improve your intimate relationship, so over the next 90 days you commit to writing a little love note to your sweetie each day with no expectations for it to be reciprocated.

As you go through the next 90 days take a note of the progress each week.

2020 Can be the best Year yet- but it will take being intentional in setting your goals, and working towards your goals.