Managing Your Chaos
Do you ever feel that if you were to fully be all of who you are, you would be fully and totally rejected. People would look at you differently, like you less, and judge you even more harshly?
We all have parts of ourselves that we try to silence, avoid or judge harshly.
For as long as I can remember, I wanted to fit in- with all the pretty polished, sure of themselves girls. I wanted to be popular, and for people to like me and want to be my friend.
Be normal.
HOT MESS EXPRESS
Do you ever feel that if you were to fully be all of who you are, you would be fully and totally rejected. People would look at you differently, like you less, and judge you even more harshly?
We all have parts of ourselves that we try to silence, avoid or judge harshly.
For as long as I can remember, I wanted to fit in- with all the pretty polished, sure of themselves girls. I wanted to be popular, and for people to like me and want to be my friend.
Be normal.
Last year, was a year of A LOT of change… I lived out of a suitcase for the entire year and was separated from my children and husband for half of it. My life was in constant flow, and changed many times in a moment.
One of my children, was so scandalized with the upheaval, and change happening in our lives- and asked the question, “Why aren’t you normal? Why can’t our family just be normal? With parents that work normal, stable jobs and things aren’t always changing?”
It hurt… more than I like to admit. One of my children had just addressed my deepest fear- that other people could sense the chaos that I felt like I was always trying to hide.
After a couple weeks of marinating on why his response hurt so much, I realized I could accept his criticisms as hurtful or I could accept I am who I am.
For as long as I can remember, my life has been a state of chaos… and I like it.
I like the chaos.
Sometimes it can get overwhelming, but I handle it.
Business owners, entrepreneurs and the self employed can probably relate to loving the chaos. It’s in our nature.
The draw of the chaos, solving problems, helping others, is something that is comforting- even if you choose not to admit it. Being in the flow of life and your decisions. Being who you really are and ok with it.
It’s a journey of self acceptance and self love.
Part of what makes you awesome is your ability to deal with chaos. When you take action, massive action, consistent daily action to move things forward- the universe will push against you, asking you how bad you want what you say you want. You deal with the pushback, the failures, the fall- downs, and keep pushing forward.
Where other people would look at the chaos and stop, turn around, go back to what they know- we lean forward, look the chaos in the eye and ask for more.
I once read a quote that was something along the lines of
Some women are consumed by the fire, others are refined by the fire.
Stepping into the chaos of starting a business, getting it off the ground, and growing it into something is a daily battle- and for some of us, it’s the battle we stake our lives on.
It’s not easy.
It’s not even as close to as glamorous as it looks on social media.
It’s a lifetime of learning to dance with the chaos.
Let me know in the comments if you have ever felt the same way I have about your own chaos?
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4 Ways to Reclaim Your Power
It’s not until being through it, and on the other side of it that I realize my own power and the magic I breathe into everything I do.
It honestly helps me breathe a little easier, being able to take a beat and acknowledge what I have done and what I have left to do.
Though this has been cathartic for me to write, I am realizing that I have not left you with anything other than some personal realizations and short stories, that’s not very helpful and certainly not the purpose of this blog post.
To wrap up this post let me give some actionable steps you can take to create magic and fully step into your power in your business and your life.
This weekend was a great weekend- I got to spend some time with my family and make some sweet memories- but in that I also learned some lessons from my darling daughters.
The holiday season is a time of year where everything feels a bit more magical- maybe it’s the twinkle lights, the time with family, the baked goodies, santa, or all the holiday traditions.
This is the first year in many years where I have not been responsible for planning a grand holiday soiree for clients, employees, and vendors. It kind of feels like, for the first time in over a decade I can actual flow with and enjoy the holiday season- because I’m not trying to control it.
I took my daughters shopping this weekend, for Christmas presents and while we were in the car, I told them Lena 11, and Emma 13 that there was no Santa. Emma already knew but Lena was gutted. When I asked her why she was so upset, she told me, she believes in magic, and doesn’t want there to be no magic on Christmas.
I was shocked, because as a child, at 8 years old I learned there was no Santa and I was relieved- there was too much pressure to achieve perfect behavior, then a strange dude in our house. Sure I loved the surprise of filled stockings and Christmas morning but the rest was a lot for me to handle as a child.
What I learned through an extended conversation with my daughters- is they believe in magic- the magic that their father and I have created for them year after year- in spite of being divorced since Lena was 1 1/2 years old.
Often times I don’t think we realize the power that magic that we bring into our lives and businesses simply by being who we are.
It’s really easy to get lost in the doing, the having, and the toiling to make it through life and prove to ourselves and those around us that we are a success.
The thing is- nobody really gives a shit about what you do for a living, what kind of car you drive, where you live or how much money you make.
They care about how you make them feel.
The experience you give others, simply by being in your presence.
Do you make people feel better or worse about themselves?
Do you lift others up or do you put them down- remind them of “their place” in the world?
Do you encourage and speak life into others or do you speak down to others?
The wonder and awe you create in the world could be through your business and through the relationships you have and the memories that you make.
The hard work that you do, is creating magic for someone else- even if- for you, it just feels like work.
Today, I one year since I walked away from gym business- (uncanny timing, pre- COVID. ) Truth be told, it has been a year of unpacking some baggage that I had acquired through owning the gym.
BUT
Today, for the first time- maybe ever- I heard the compliments and comments about what I created with the gym in the time that I had it. For every person who walked through our doors I made it my mission to let them feel seen, let them feel needed, and let them know they mattered.
I think I achieved that.
It’s not until being through it, and on the other side of it that I realize my own power and the magic I breathe into everything I do.
It honestly helps me breathe a little easier, being able to take a beat and acknowledge what I have done and what I have left to do.
Though this has been cathartic for me to write, I am realizing that I have not left you with anything other than some personal realizations and short stories, that’s not very helpful and certainly not the purpose of this blog post.
To wrap up this post let me give some actionable steps you can take to create magic and fully step into your power in your business and your life.
Be YOU
When in doubt, and you don’t even know what it means to be you- sit still, journal, pray, ask the hard questions of the universe, “ Who am I?” and “ Who do I want to be?”
You were created to be you, and only you. When in doubt, be you- even if that means you cuss like a sailor, tell dirty jokes, and add a dash of awkwardness to any situation.
Nobody wants you to be anyone other that you.
You Matter.
Who you are matters.
What you do matters.
Get Lost
I like to say, “ The fastest way to find yourself is to get a little lost.”
Go for a wander, experience something new, explore different places, tastes, cultures. Walk in someone else’s shoes for a day, a week, a month or a year
A shift in scenery can work wonders to shift your perspective.
Take a Stand and Stay There
This year, this pandemic, and this political season has brought a lot of opinions and perspectives out of the wood work.
It’s easy to stand back and watch the madness unfold, not really having an opinion or a stance or a point of view. Let’s be honest- not having a point of view- or being hostile in your point of view are the trademarks of our generation and the world we live in.
It takes courage to stand firm, to use your voice even if it’s shaking, and to disagree with others.
Your point of view, your perspectives, and your ability to listen to others are things that truly define who we are.
I understand the desire to please everyone, I think most women do. If you don’t take a stand for something, you will fall for anything.
So let your freak flag fly and be open about your beliefs- not everyone will agree with with, but why would you want them to anyways?
MOVE & TAKE ACTION
There is a difference between people who have beliefs and visions for the world and people who have beliefs and vision and actively seek to mold the world to fit their vision.
The simple act of taking action, is the simple action of working your magic and fully stepping into your power.
Will it always be easy? Hell no.
Will there be an evolution? God I hope so.
Will is be perfect? As long as you are human, you can fully expect it to be messy and imperfect.
Stepping into your power doesn’t mean life suddenly gets easier, I would argue that at times it can actually get harder- but that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t be you, all of you, in all your glory.
Step into your power and go work your magic.
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