Stop Making Shitty Decisions

Everyone has sabotaging habits, and behaviors, some of us have far more damaging ways to sabotage our lives and our happiness in a big way. The good news is that you don’t have to continue sabotage your own happiness and success blindly.

The bad news it takes a lot of work and awareness to change your behaviors and your thought processes. It take courage to address the bits of ourselves that we know are out our highest calling or representation of ourselves.

I get it, I am formerly known as “Hurricane Sara,” my brother gave me this name, after watching me for years build relationships only to destroy them. The circle of drama surrounding me was intense. I was always cheating chaos around me, and it was exhausting for me and those around me.

We all have ways of sabotaging ourselves, and our our happiness, but we also can make an active choice to do something different, but it takes work an awareness.

The ways we sabotage ourselves can show up in how we treat our bodies, how we show up in relationships, the time we take to nurture our minds, bodies. Sabotage can show up in our finances, how we manage out time and the stories we tell ourselves.

The first step to changing your shitty decisions is recognizing the shitty decisions your are already habitually making in your

Relationships…

Finances…

Health…

Work…

Leadership….

Parenting…

Thoughts and pattern interrupt…

Assumptions you have…

Communication…

So many people are addicted to the drama and the stories that come with the shitty decisions they make. When you have a victim story, people listen, they feel bad for you, and the give you attention. Which is nice, but it’s not helping you live your best life.

Have you ever looked in the mirror and thought-

How did I get here?

Is this really my life?

I can’t keep going this way…

I need to change, but don’t know how.

I totally get it, several years ago I found myself having theses same challenging thoughts. I was unhappy and I knew that the only to change my unhappiness was to take control of my thoughts, my actions and my reactions.

It wasn’t going to be easy.

I wasn’t easy.

How do you take control of your poor decision making, when making shitting decisions is as natural as breathing?

1. Observe your patterns

   If you are too close to your patterns and poor decision making, ask a friend or even better ask someone you’ve hurt to help diagnose your patterns. Brace yourself, it’s going to eye opening, shocking, and painful.

2. Observe your thoughts as you see your patterns coming to life

   Awareness is the first step in changing anything. So take a step back from your thoughts, look at them and recognize that just because you have a thought doesn’t mean you have to act on it.

3. STOP

   Stop, pause, think. Seriously- if you constantly respond or react at the height of emotion- when you feel yourself getting emotional- stop. Do nothing. Go read a book, take a shower, go for a walk, think. Do nothing, until you are clear headed and no longer emotional.

4. Get curious

   Ask yourself what else you can do or say other than what your knee jerk reaction naturally is. In your mind observe your options, before you decide what you are going to do.

5. Take care of yourself

   Seriously, sounds nuts I know. Take care of yourself first. Make sure you are good. Make sure your heart is good. Make sure your spirit is good. Then and only make a better decision

As you unfurl the process of getting better with your decisions, realize it won’t be easy. There will be bumps in the road.

Heck there will even be times when it is physically painful to not react or explode with pain, anger, frustration and sabotage. Expect the pain. Expect the frustration.

Know that when you learn to handle yourself, your decisions and your emotions in the beginning it will be hard, but the end result is an inner strength that no one can take from you.

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Need help mastering your sabotaging demons, book a strategy call and finally get some traction your life and towards your goals.

Check out The Momma Boss with Sara Goossen Podcast on Apple Podcast

Join the Momma Boss Collective Facebook Group

Now what? Starting over again… from the very beginning.

I’ve been following Alex Charfen for many years. One of his most informative measures of scale in business is called The Billionaire Code. It’s essentially a chart that visualizes scaling a business from “seeker” to creating a legacy business. Through it he walks the CEO of a business through the various phases of a business from income, staffing, constraints businesses and their CEO’s encounter along the way.

It’s the most detailed and comprehensive path to scale any business from an idea, to a hobby, to a real business and then to a legacy business.

When I owed my gym, I loved this resource as I scaled ‘the code.’ One aspect of it I found lacking was what to do then shit starts to go back the wrong way.

In business we are constantly looking to grow, because if you’re not growing you’re dying. It’s a universal truth in business. I found myself wrestling with a few things the last 18 months in my business:

1- I had fallen out of love with my work and wanted to embark on something new. Fitness is definitely a passion based business, because you have to pour your life into your clients, your team and every minute of everyday. I started to feel like when it came to living my life with my priorities in alignment- there was always something in the business that tore me away from my family, friends, sleep and self care. It went from a passion based business to daily drudgery, but being the boss I had to slap a smile on my face, show up everyday and inspire my team and my clients.

2- I noticed a profound shift in the market place and people’s desire to actually act to change. Everyone wants to get in shape and lose weight, but nobody actually wants to commit to a better way of living for health long term. My business became a churn factory- the more my team and I cared about each clients outcome- the fewer clients we had. Granted the clients we had were super committed- but a business needs repeat business to stay in business. Not the promise of repeat business, but the same 300-1000 customers each day, week and month. Without that a business can’t keep the lights on, the rent paid or their team and their teams families fed.

3- Social media and online reviews and presence do no equal income.

4- A business can experience their best year ever- followed rapidly with their worst year ever and bankruptcy. Don’t get cocky, remain humble, and always live beneath your means. Recognize the initial pinch and act quickly. It’s imperative if you want to continue to win in business.

I love being the boss.
I love being self employed.

I live having a team.

I love being the breadwinner and maintaining my independence.

So starting over, having spent my saving to keep my business afloat for the last 6 months of its life, is simply put HARD AS F$&@.

Not knowing what I want to do when I grow up, starting over and just exploring the world as I know and don’t know it. While keeping the lessons I’ve learned and forgetting just enough of the life and work I once knew so that I can open myself up to new lessons and opportunities.

The beauty of being a seeker again is the openness of what’s possible.

The shit bit of being a seeker again is all the uncertainty, and I rely heavily on having a level of certainty in my life.

So how do you handle being a seeker again, when you once had a pretty dang good thing and not even that long ago?

1- Ask yourself questions about what’s important to you in your work- ability to use creativity? Lead a team? Have free time? What kind of money do you want to make per unit? Do you want a service based business or product based business? How long will you give something a go before you decide it’s your next thing or if it’s not?
2- Evaluate what you really don’t want to experience again in your work life and personal life.
3- Get curious. About life, people, other businesses and try to find a need you can fill, and you want to fill that’s interesting enough to pursue.
4- Get busy. Be careful not to get sucked down into defeat and depression. Keep moving forward and recognize that there is beauty in the lessons you are learning and you won’t stay here as long as you keep moving forward. Do one thing each day that will move you forward, out of the middle- and be ok with your direction may change along the way. It’s ok.